2009 - Honda Indy 2.8k

Just found out about this race in less than a week before the race. Its a short distance run and walk, I've asked a few friends and colleagues to see if anyone wants to run on indy track, unique distance and cool course! but no takers, not surprised since my sales skill is horrible. My 5peak Rattle Snake Point enduro is coming up this Sat, but a short 2.8 is not taxing at all, as long as I don't go too intensive and kill myself.

Race starts at 6pm, I had to take off early from work as online registration already closed, I had to register in person. Base on my recent race time, my predicted time was 13:xx. But on the back of my mind I want a 12min finish with this pacing strategy:
1k - 4:20
2k - 4:20
Last 800m - 3:20
or even try a sub 4min pace if miracle happens, just the usual unrealistic goal :-)

The place I work to Exhibition Place is less than 4k - a good distance for warm-up. For some reason I missed the entrance and ended up in Ontario Place, I had to run around the Exhibition Place and going back to find the registration hall, took me all together 30 mins finally get to the regstration place, the good thing about not register online is that I didn't have to pay the extra processing fee! There weren't many people for the race and there was a live band, not bad for a small race. Out of nowhere there were bunch of hooters girls showed up!? then lots cameras were pointing at them and taking shots. Not sure what these hooters girls will be doing here, water stations and cheering for us? That would be nice. There were a few minutes delay of the race, finally everyone were asked to go outside get to the start line. I was surprised that the hooters girls came with us to the start line as well, is this some sort of hooters team challenge? They going to run with us?? I'm afraid I would be faster than them, that would be too bad that I couldn't running behind these nice bodies :-( Soon we were asked to do a "fake start" run through start/finish, more pictures and videos were taken, now that explains why those girls were with us at the start...

I looked around at the runners, already figure out the possible placing, the winner of many races - Praderag Mladenovic was there, and there were 6-7 seem to be elite runners. Then there were possibly around 5 veteran runners that would be faster than me for sure. So I placed myself after these guys. There were a few guys placed themselves with the elites, I don't know what were they thinking... Some of them I can tell they are experienced runners but for sure not at elite level. The real start caught me in surprise a little, it was too soon after the fake start. Pacing was quite difficult at start, cause its such a small race, we were just a few steps behind the elites, you really had to discipline yourself not following the elites and a few other fast ones... But how far to keep away from them? It's hard to tell as I don't have a GPS watch to check my pace, I looked at my watch I already rocked my heart rate to 195!!! Definitely way too fast for the first 800m. One funny thing was within 400m one guy in board shorts that ran with the elites already started walking :-) I also passed all those ones that placed themselves up front but started to fade already. Soon after 800m or so I was running behind this kid, probably around 10-12, I tried to keep up with him, there's no reason to kill myself with a young talented kid. I tried to look for km makers but I didn't see any?! I really couldn't follow my initial pacing strategy... all I was doing was to keep up with this kid since there were nobody else around us. It should be around half way, this lady passed me and the kid as well, I couldn't resist then I picked up my pace, I passed the kid, then the side stitch started as well! It wasn't long that the kid passed me again, then another guy passed us... I was actually a bit surprised that this guy was behind us, I saw him at the start line and I knew this is someone I would have a had time to keep up, I guess this shows that he was disciplined to run his own pace without being affected by the elites. As I was hurting, the kid pulled away. I saw some makers indicated 2, but soon I saw 1?! Defintely a mess up or they are the marker for the Indy car race. Anyhow I totally couldn't pace myself right from the beginning and through out the race. Anther guy passed me, I kept myself within 100m behind him. Wanted to give him some competition at the last 200m if possible. That was a silly thought, when we were around 200m before the finish line, he started giving his last kick although there weren't any runners in front of him... I was 100m behind, way too far and too late to start sprinting... I gave up, the only thing I had to beat was the clock! It was over 12min already, let's make a sub 12:30 at least. I gave my last kick, there weren't anybody in front of me anymore and nobody in sight behind me, a bit boring finish. Much of surprise at the finish line, now I know why hooters girls are here for! They gave me the finisher medal ( didn't even expect a medal for this race ), gave me a water bottle and removed my time chip! What better can you ask for? I'll do this race again just for that! :-) I am surprised they didn't advertised this at all! From now on I'll keep my eyes open for race sponsors - beer sponsors, maxim, hooters and etc will be under my radar :-D

They provided post-race food - sandwiches and chicken wings! never seen any race like this, a bit weird but I finished my supper there :-)

Highlights about this race:
- weird distance
- weird running so close after elites
- cool course but no km markers :-(
- runners or non-runners don't know their corral
- hottest supporting crew! :-)
- chicken wings and sandwiches after the race

Overall: 16/80
Category: 12/32
Gun time: 12:28
Chip time: 12:25

5 Peaks 2009 - Durham Forest Enduro

After winning the Mississauga Marathon Corp Relay, I had the taste of going at 4:01m/k. It definitely boosted up my confidence going at faster pace. I have adjusted my "unplanned training" out of my busy schedule. Unfortunately, both work and family got in the way as usual, I am really terrible in balancing work and life with 2 kids... I have great respect to those parents with more kids. So my planned 8-12k runs were mostly cut down to 3-5k. In mid May I thought about doing the bread and honey 15k but with this progress I didn't want to bother just doing another race targeting a 4:5x pace. Couple other races were also in consideration:
Mud run - fun but poorly organized event, already done it twice... forget it.
Airport 5k - a medal worth to collect and running on the airway would be cool! but it is on the same day as Durham forest. :-(
So there was nothing interesting left but waiting for my heart to jump out on the hills of Durham forest.

This is the 2nd race of 5 peaks series., I never done it before, that is a good thing - no pressure, no matter how bad I do it's going to be a PR. Pacing strategy? none - just make sure my heart rate don't go beyond the average of Chicopee, which was around 183.

Durham forest is located at north west of Pickering, I vaguely remember I have done hiking there many years ago. Getting there from Thornhill, I didn't want waste gas going south to 401 and going back north again, being a cheap guy I also don't want to pay for 407, so hwy7 was my obvious choice. I guess I didn't take this race seriously so I forgot to print out the direction. Driving for close to 1hr east, I found myself lost in the unpaved road around the area... I tried my luck go around the area for another 30mins finally found the place at 9:30am, just 30min before the race almost got myself in panic mode.

Start!
I looked around didn't see JB, he's been bailing out from races since the injury in chilly half, although he still clocked our MMC relay 8k under 30mins! Race waves started with elite, faster than normal and the rest of mere mortals. Seeing 5peaks are more serious runners and triathletes, I placed myself in middle of the last wave. 5 peaks is slightly different than your regular road race, there is no gun time, everyone go by your chiptime, so start placing doesn't affect your placing that much unless its a single track trail from the beginning of the race. I guess I have under estimate myself a bit, as the race started I was passing a lot of people within the first k. There was this dad running with two kids probably around age 10 or so, I was pacing myself behind them but after a while I didn't want to hold back on going downhills, shortly around 1k marker I had to pass them. Soon I found myself behind this lady who seem to be experienced and done this race before, she seem to know the route well and going at a very consistent pace, her breathing was very clam regardless going up or downhills. I thought just to keep up with her could be a good plan not killing myself in the early stage of the game. By going at consistent pace with her we actually passed a few runners, there were 2 runners passed us but it turns out they were doing the sport course.

Going uphills
The Durham forest trail is very winding, endless uphills and downhills repeats... At some point I feel if I was lost in the forest going around the same area... My heart was pumping at low 180s but I didn't feel that bad, I started to lose patient following behind this lady, I charged on downhills passed her, then she would pass me again on uphills. It was after a few uphills I found running uphills seem to take more out of me and really weren't that much faster, instead of running or power walk, I decided to try a new technique - a gorilla walk! I lowered my body swinging my arms wide to power up and take large stride, thinking myself as an ape! Not only I was able to keep up the people running in front of me, it seemed cost less energy and soon I passed that lady and following another pack of runners. There were around 3 female runners in front of me, another one or two guys behind me. When we passed the 6k marker, I heard someone said only 4k left at the aid station, I thought the enduro course is 12k??? but at this point after all those hills I wouldn't mind this is only a 10k race. We kept on going, seem to be passing a wild berries area, the guy behind me asked if anyone wanted to stop for berries... but we were just trying to catch up our breath so couldn't really respond, this was a good indication the guy had more left no wonder he passed us later in the race. So we have passed the 10k marker, finish line was nowhere to be seen, the guy at aid station was giving us (well, at least me) false hope... the young guy behind me took off, then soon I also passed a couple runners on another uphill, at this point I was running alone, the ones I passed were about 100-200m behind me.

Sand in the forest?
It was weird that I entered a sand area, sand in middle of the forest? I had no idea why... my tired foot sank into the sand every step... This makes me have a doubt about the planned Sahara race years down the road... How much does it take to run on sand plus the heat for 250k over 5 days? hard to imagine. Can't really remember where it was but probably shortly after 11k there was a big trunk of the tree blocking the trail, we had to go around to pass it... The runners behind me were catching up, and then two of them passed me... I was tired and there wasn't any downhill so I wasn't up to the challenge, I really wasn't sure how much further to go and how much I have left in me..

To the finish line
Looking at the lap time on my watch I know we are approaching 12k, still no sign of the finish line... There's more to go???. One runner charged and passed me another one came up running next to me, I don't feel I can keep up with the one passed me, so I kept running side by side with the one next to me. Then I saw the 12k marker, and the finish line is a few hundred meters away. Its about time I start to sprint, as soon as I changed my stride and speed up, I felt fresh and new again, it seems like I got a backup tank or UPS power supply in my body. I pulled away from the one next to me and The one in front of me was within a hundred meter away, in seconds I passed her, I kept the fast pace till about 50m left then I went all out to cross the finish line and trying to set a break after the finish line not to run into the crowd. The volunteer chased me down to get the time chip off my foot, sorry my brain wasn't really functional after that sprint...

After I saw the official results from sportstats and did some math, turns out it was 300 meters after the 12k mark and I clocked a 3:37 pace for the last 300 meters! I have read somewhere saying do not sprint to the finish in a long distance race, not only it is unwise but it could be dangerous. But I couldn't help it, my strength of the game is only that last 1 minute or less... That is the only time when I can feel I am the fastest :-)

I was pleased with my result, still below average in my age category, but that is something I can work on. My heart rate puzzled me, I have been told that pumping at 180 something seems too high for my age and I probably won't last too long. Last time at Chicopee at average of 183-184 lasted 56 minutes and this time at average of 182 it last 70 minutes! Sure it was tiring but it wasn't painful that I had to stop at any point. Perhaps, my heart rate is just higher than normal, I hope that is the case.

Another thing I realized after the race is that there is a random draw after all 5peaks races for prizes! I've always rushed home every time after the race so that I am not taking away too much family time from kids, but then I just missed the draws for two races... :-(

My colleague suggested that I should stop doing the creepy smile to the photographer, that is probably the reason my picture was the only blurry one out of all...

KM	SPLIT	SPLIT PACE	AVG PACE	HR	TOTAL
1.0	04:55.40	04:55.40	04:55.40	175	04:55.40
2.0	05:56.32	05:56.32	05:25.86	183	10:51.72
3.0	06:27.38	06:27.38	05:46.37	186	17:19.10
4.0	05:02.76	05:02.76	05:35.47	184	22:21.86
5.0	06:17.20	06:17.20	05:43.81	182	28:39.06
6.0	06:39.75	06:39.75	05:53.14	182	35:18.81
7.0	05:28.95	05:28.95	05:49.68	183	40:47.76
8.0	05:24.37	05:24.37	05:46.52	179	46:12.13
9.0	06:00.05	06:00.05	05:48.02	180	52:12.18
10.0	05:28.43	05:28.43	05:46.06	182	57:40.61
11.0	06:14.78	06:14.78	05:48.67	180	01:03:55
12.0	05:43.14	05:43.14	05:48.21	179	01:09:39
12.3	01:00.82	03:37.21	05:45.22	190	01:10:39

86/252 FELIX WU THORNHILL 8674 1:10:39.2 5:45 26/47

Mercedes-Benz 10K 2009

10K after 5Peaks Enduro - receipt for injury?
This was an unplanned race as I only found out about it around 1 month ago. At the time I had already registered the 5peaks series, I was debating with myself if this was a good idea to do a back-to-back race, both distances were short, not too taxing. Knowing this race might not be an annual event, I couldn't resist the temption of collecting the unique Mercedez medal, I signed up before the early bird deadline. Injury free or medal? I picked medal.

To the start line
Sunday morning started out around 10 degrees, it was nice and cool for a race. I didn't feel the any damage from the Chicopee race while I jogged to the start line. There were a lot of people, the corral divided into 30 - 39 and 40 - 49 sections and a lot of people after. Although I didn't plan to kill myself as I just had a trail race the day before, but on the back of my mind I wanted to register a sub 50min 10k on sportstats.ca if possible. I placed myself on the back of the 40-49 corral. There were a group of teen runners next to me, in most races a lot young runners started out too fast and faded right after 1-2k, I know I had to be discipline not following their pace and only shoot at a 5min/k pace to start with.

1-2k
As I placed myself on the back of 40-49min corral and planned on going out with 5:00min/k pace I didn't expect to pass people on the 1st km. Interesting thing was that the group of teen runners next to me didn't start out fast at all, actually they were going too slow, after about 2min I had to take of and I kept on passing a lot of people, I was sure I wasn't going out too fast at all.. I was just surprised how come these people placed themselves in this corral and went out so slow. When I hit 1k marker it was 4:50, a bit faster than I expected but it was flat and a bit of downhill so I didn't worry too much I just had to slow down a little bit and move on. 2-4k, breathing was totally fine, I was happy that I kept on going at consistent 4:55 pace and for the first time running a sub 5 min pace I don't feel like going into an oxygen debt like I use to, but my legs were sore and heavy, perhaps this was the after effect from 5peaks race the day before, I told myself this just temporary and hoping my legs would get fresh (or numb...) after couple more. Towards to the 5k marker it was a downhill, I took the advantage of gravity, speed up to 4:49. At 5k marker, but there were 2-3 runners passed me.. I was planning on doing a negative split with faster 2nd half, but apparently
they were doing a faster negative split than me.

5k-8k
There were no pack of runners were doing the same pace as me, I find myself running alone most of the time or on occasion running with another runner or two, but they seem to be faded away one by one. I didn't think I was going faster but the soreness of my legs were gone, I felt I was running with moderate effort and I simply enjoy the view of Lakeshore in Oakville, there are lots big trees along the lake in Oakville. I didn't want to try faster as I was afraid this under control feeling is just a temporary illusion.. my legs might get a cramp like the mid summer night 30k in 2008... Lucky none of those disaster happened, although I was unable to catch up those ppl passed me at 5k (I couldn't even see them anymore after 7k) but I was passing other runners one by one with a slightly faster pace than the first half.

9k-finish
In the past I always change my stride too late in the game, after every finishing kick I find myself had more left in me. This was because I alway relying on seeing the finish line before switch my speed. This time I decided I am going to change the pace base by time. So far I have been running at 4:5x pace consistently, after 2min passed 9k, do I have enough left to sprint the rest of around 600m? sure, shouldn't be
a problem. When my watch shows 46:00, I picked up my pace, started to pass more runners. Soon I reached Appleby college, I know it was only around 200m left to the finish line, I started sprinting! passing packs of runners, as I turned into the entrance of the college towards to the finish line I was going all out speed, 3-4 runners saw me passing, looking surprised, I loved their look... I am an average or maybe below average distance runner but the last 200m I would try outrun everyone in front of me :-) Just as I was so happy running to the finish line, there was one runner in front of me... This was the lady who passed me at 5k! Noooo! please don't get into my finish line photo! she finished 1s in front of me looking effortless... obviously I couldn't match her speed between 5k-9.9k :-( I only wish the finish line was 25m further...



Self Evaluation
Overall I was happy with my performance, I didn't repeat flaws I have made in the past.
- did not stop at water station, stopping at water station always made me stop and walk, wasting precious 1 minute in every station.
- finally done a race with some sort of negative split!
- started finishing kick in better timing than the past, maybe could even done it 5 or 10s earlier
- It was a such perfect race for myself until the very last 1s, I ran all out right behind someone looking effortless in the finish photos :-)

48:39 - better than the previous unofficial record 49:55
Although this is not a record that I can brag about, but I was proud of myself that this race was done after chcopee enduro, it was done with moderate effort and did not hurt.

KM	SPLIT	SPLIT PACE	AVG PACE	HR	TOTAL
1.0	04:50.86	04:50.86	04:50.86	166	04:50.86
2.0	04:55.22	04:55.22	04:53.04	176	09:46.08
3.0	04:55.10	04:55.10	04:53.73	177	14:41.18
4.0	04:55.23	04:55.23	04:54.10	177	19:36.41
5.0	04:49.90	04:49.90	04:53.26	176	24:26.31
6.0	04:53.00	04:53.00	04:53.22	176	29:19.31
7.0	04:53.39	04:53.39	04:53.24	178	34:12.70
8.0	05:01.22	05:01.22	04:54.24	175	39:13.92
9.0	04:53.56	04:53.56	04:54.16	177	44:07.48
10.0	04:32.22	04:32.22	04:51.97	178	48:39.70

Felix WU Thornhill 935 49:01.9 48:39.7 4:55 Men 30 - 34 13/33 134/363

What did I get in the race kit? lots of good stuff
- a cool new balance black tech shirt
- pair of new balance socks
- box of gum (30x+)
- the 2nd quality finisher medal I got so far next to the Toronto Marathon medal
There were something else I couldn't remember, but it was a super deal for $40 registration fee!

5 Peaks 2009 - Chicopee Enduro

Why 5 Peaks?
5 Peaks is a trail running series across Canada, I wanted to do this series back in 2007, but the dates of the race usually conflict with many other road races. Trail hiking has plant a seed for me to running, the only trail run I have done so far was mud run, I was excited to try the 5 peaks series!


Problem of running in trails
I really had no idea how to pace in trail run as I rarely run in trails. There are trails around my neighbourhood, although I love trails so much but I do have a fear of running alone in trails... why? because 75% of the time I ran into unleashed dogs in trails, some of them were friendly some were not! most of the time I had to stop and walk, acting friendly (thus break my training/running rhythm) to get by. There was one time in Claireville Conservation area I ran into a school of unleashed agressive dogs! 10-20 of various breeds, the owner (probably a dog walker) was nowhere to be seen!! lucky I spotted the dogs were coming from far, I hide for a while and managed to get away before the dogs teared me apart... Another time I got charged by a doberman! The law is there but it is not enforced and people don't obey the law. So far I have no solution to run safely in trails unless I carry a pepper spray, but I don't really want to harm the dogs, it is really owner's fault! Back to the pacing strategy, I decided to put on the heart rate monitor just to make sure I don't make my heart pumping at max range and kill myself on the trail... There was no goal for this race, since I have never done it before, no matter how bad it is going to be a PB, plus I have a 10k race the next day.


The Race
The course was located in Chicopee - a ski hill in Kitchener. Weather was quite dramatic on that day, when I left home it was around 4 degrees, once I reached Chicopee it was still around 10 I believe. Within 30 minutes just right before the race started, temperature has raised to 20 above! soon it gets hot and humid. On top of the hill there were still snow melting, which made the entire hill nicely muddy, all natural mud... First k was the most difficult terrain, as we had to zig-zag up the slippery muddy hill, definitely not a good place to fall unless you want a muddy facial. Similar to mud run, most trails were single track and you get stuck by slower runners, on the 2nd km I managed to passed some people when the trail turns. Looking at my heart rate it was pumping 180ish, I know if I keep on going at that pace my heart would jump out of my chest and blow up sooner or later, I settled around 6:30min/km pace. Around 4km there was another hill to climb, I had no idea how I was doing in the race with this pace, but I saw this tall fit triathlete who reminds me of Chris Lieto, he was walking! I know either he's having a bad day or I am not doing too bad. At this point I wanted to take a walk as well, but the lady next to me encouraged me to see who makes to the top, whoever you were, thank you! Runners who were doing the sport course was directed to go downhill to the finish line, but for the rest of us.. back to the zig zag muddy hill again... I started walking up the hill, so did all the people around me. I don't think I have walked this much in any of the races, I guess this is lack of training on hills, I started to question myself why did I sign up for Enduro instead of the Sport course! The later half of the course, I managed to keep the same pace and stayed with a pack around my pace. As people were fading I became the front of the pack, but I definitely didn't want to be pressured as the first of the pack. However, it was unavoidable when the lead girl slowed down just before the 8k mark. Lucky the downhill to the finish line soon appeared, I started sprinting downhill, to run down the hill was further than it looked like... I thought I had to slow down to get enough air so I can make to the finish line, but as soon I heard the crowd cheering, I kept on going faster! great finish but too fast for the photographer to get a closer shot. :-)

This race was well organized, route markers and km markers were clearly visible, unlike during mud run 2008 me and another runner got lost on one part of the trail! there seem to be more hard core trail runners in the 5 peak series, many with those fancy trail running shoes such as Salomon XT wings - really cool looking shoes, I want one of those! So the final result, not too bad and I enjoyed the challenging course and running in trail!

KM	SPLIT	SPLIT PACE	AVG PACE	HR	TOTAL
1.0	06:33.84	06:33.84	06:33.84	177	06:33.84
2.0	05:28.09	05:28.09	06:00.97	185	12:01.93
3.0	06:40.61	06:40.61	06:14.18	186	18:42.54
4.0	06:12.53	06:12.53	06:13.77	184	24:55.07
6.0	14:39.70	07:19.85	06:35.80	182	39:34.77
8.0	13:17.93	06:38.97	06:36.59	182	52:52.70
8.6	03:45.32	06:15.53	06:35.12	187	56:38.02

108/259 FELIX WU THORNHILL 8277 56:38.2 6:36 M30-39 36/55

Harry's Spring Run-Off 8k 2009 - end of my PB streak

I am just way too slow in blogging the flashback of past races and my running journeys. I am going to have to blog this first since I really disappointed myself.

The reason I signed up for this 8k is a test run to see how well I can do in a 8k this year, since the corp relay of Mississauga Marathon is coming up in May, each of us will be doing a 8k and the last anchor runner will be doing 10.2k. Last year while I was still new to running, under the pressure of our fastest guy doing the leg before me (he did his 8k around 29 minutes!) I pushed myself to the limit did it in 39ish minutes and kept our lead in corp relay, although we didn't win but that is another story for me to blog later. After that relay it gave me a lot of confidence, I did Alfie Shrubb Classic 8k 2008 in 38:57. The goal of this race was to beat that time.

The weather started cold, I thought it was going to rain but it didn't, it was crazy windy and the temperature was around 2 - 3 degrees in the morning. Probably under dressed, I felt really cold and was shivering at the start line, much worse than the Chilly Half back on March 1st. First 2k went just fine, average a 4:35 pace, which is a little faster than the 4:45 I planned, probably because I charged on the downhill at 2k. On 3kI slowed down to 4:58 on 3k. Around 4k I stopped at water station and took two cups as I thought I could recharge myself after the uphill, but I didn't really feel the need of hydration and nor felt better after, soon I realized I spent 5:27 for that km... I had to catch up for the time I lost, while anxiously catching up the time I missed the 5k marker, so I wasn't sure what my 5k split was. For the last 2k I couldn't hold up the sub 5 min pace anymore, the last steep hill added extra 10 seconds, although I managed to sprint the last few hundred meters to pass some people but my lung was out of air.

For some reason I thought I saw the gun time was 39:1x (probably getting dizzy after the hill...), so I thought my chip time should be similar to last year but I was wrong, it turns out the official chip time was 39:30 until I checked on the website. I was being stupid not setting the watch to the mode showing the total time, I had it set to show only split time per k and my brain couldn't do addition while running out of gas!

The wind and the hilly course beat me, it was a more challenging course than Alfie 8k. Despite all these factors (or my excuses), it still probably means there's no improvement in me since last June! I understand for 2.5 months after my 2nd baby was born I couldn't keep up with running much, but since mid February I have been runing a bit more and I have been going to the track do those killer 800 repeats recently! just last weekend I did a 5k run myself in 24:14 with moderate effort, I thought it was a good sign. All these efforts gone to waste... Now I have a month till the Mississauga Marathon relay, I think I simply have to run more than 3 times a week!

KM	SPLIT	SPLIT PACE	AVG PACE	TOTAL
1.0	04:34.60	04:34.60	04:34.60	00:04:35
2.0	04:36.37	04:36.37	04:35.49	00:09:11
3.0	04:58.44	04:58.44	04:43.14	00:14:09
4.0	05:27.61	05:27.61	04:54.26	00:19:37
6.0	09:43.23	04:51.62	04:53.38	00:29:20
7.0	05:00.26	05:00.26	04:54.36	00:34:21
8.0	05:09.36	05:09.36	04:56.23	00:39:30

339   39:50.8  4:59   39:30.1 2609 WU, FELIX   279/1042  50/186  Men 30 - 34 

I actually found myself in this picture :-)